The Axe~

D-Day has arrived. I know there is nothing I can do. She doesn’t want to do the stupid job and I don’t blame her. I wish that I won Powerball so I can quit and we can just get going. Hell, we would just go out and meet weird people and laugh about it.

They talk and he calls to let me know. He doesn’t say anything bad at all. He’s just looking toward next year and knows that it’s about money. He claims he spent xxx amount on her. What an f’in liar. She probably didn’t even get her last two checks because our bookkeeper’s name is Suzy Forgets A Lot.

I call her to let her know I got the news. Before I get a chance, or during, I can’t remember now – I get her list of accounts. It’s so final and awful. Like someone who is leaving and hands over their key. She spent so much time on that list! It’s a good list!!!

I know that it is what it is and I have to do what I need to do at work and we need to move forward. “Our thing” is what makes both of us tick and since it’s our passion, it’s where we will find our joy and everything good comes from that. But she’s feeling badly.

“He wasn’t mean or anything, it’s just that it was over. Like see you later. And he didn’t even mention that I could do other things for him.” She told me that she actually wondered if I had even had the conversation with him. It was like a knife in the heart. Of course I did! We had been keeping something from him, but that’s different. She was torn and I was trying to fix it. That would never happen between us. It’s too much fun and besides this is our destiny – I know it. Now I can tell she just feeling bad and I feel bad.

She tells me that she’s going to go the Mall and buy something. I’m glad. Shopping always makes me feel better. It reminds me of a funny story she told me about going to Lord and Taylor with her mother and trying on “old-lady” clothes. She kept asking her mother if the clothes looked good on her and when you hear her tell it, Mom was expressionless and hard and just said, “No.” But she’s not laughing. We hang up.

I decide that it won’t define my day. I work on some of the business plans and get to write again. After all, the laughter is where it started and where it will continue – never to end. ~SELTZER

Your job makes me sick to my stomach!

It’s about 9:00am and I get a call from Seltzer, she warns me that he wants to have a heart to heart with me. Yup, it’s coming and there is nothing I can do. I tell her thanks and I will let her know what happens. I call his cell & his home phone and I don’t get him, so I leave messages.

He calls back about 20 minutes later and starts with..”So Pink tell me what’s going on?”

I quickly start talking and saying things like, “I don’t know this has been very hard for me and I am not getting any sales”- “It’s not what I expected at the beginning ” –He agrees and doesn’t really say much, just that “Hey, it’s not for everyone and you tried and it was nice meeting you!”

What-he is crazy. I get in one more sentence.”Actually, this job has made me sick to my stomach!” Silence over takes the phone call and finally he pipes up and says, “OK, hey are you the person who knows a host for TV programming?” I said no and furthermore, why would I help you…since you just told me to go.

We hang up. I feel weird, I feel bad and mad and confused. I guess I thought I would be the one to start this and not him, I question the situation –how did I get here, what the heck just happened, did she tell him to tell me to go? I am so dumbfounded, I cannot really focus. Well this is a fine mess I have gotten myself into. OMG!

I quickly go to my computer and send her my list, along with the client contact sheet I had made…while I was sick, mind you! I am walking around in a daze, but don’t know why. I didn’t even like the job or him for that matter. Things happen for a reason-I already believe in that, but why do I feel like this.

She calls and I tell her it’s over and I am done. I don’t really feel like talking to her even, no one in fact. I decide the only way to get over this is to go to the mall. I get in my car and decide, I have to go and buy something and quick. ~ PINK

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