Here’s to 2010!

So the clock is ticking and everyone is happy 2010 is coming to an end. While 2009 was a supremely crappy year for a lot of folks, I must admit that I can’t complain. Before you try to jump through the computer to strangle me for being so positive, let me reflect and maybe you can relate to my experience:

  • I don’t miss any of the things I stopped spending my money on.
  • The brutal economy and difficulty selling anything has made me realize that the only thing keeping me in sales was the money.
  • My frustration led to me leaving one job, where I was letting myself be completely taken advantage of, to being on the verge of doing what makes me happy.
  • And then there are the basics: I’m healthy, have a roof over my head, plenty to eat and lack for nothing.

Does any of this sound familiar? Maybe if we all started to appreciate things more, we would have nothing to bitch about. But then what would we do?

That brings me to the next big revelation from 2009. Most people I know, instead of being afraid to lose their jobs and sucking up incessantly to their bosses, are realizing they HATE what they do and they are thinking about creating their next “it.” What if we all resolved to do what we want in the New Year regardless of the consequence?  Most people would quit work and enjoy themselves – doing all the things they are too busy to accomplish. It would be like social networking on steroids. “Ugh, what did you accomplish today?” … “Well, I visited with a few friends over lunch and we laughed A LOT! Then, I went shoe shopping and talked on the phone to my mom for about an hour. I ran some errands and came home to cook dinner for my husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend (take your pick). And then we drank and had sex.” Wait a minute, I think I just described at Sex and the City episode. Yes, it’s final. We should all do just whatever the hell we want in 2010. LOL and don’t drink and drive!

 Finally~

Well, well, well….it is finally the countdown to the next decade! It’s about time:)

I am definitely one of those people who makes a LOT of promises for the upcoming year and barely delivers. I rack my brain about things I should have done the year before and think to myself…I will just add them to this year! How about I stop fooling myself into thinking I am actually going to do all those things. So I have decided the following things I will NOT do for the next year and who knows…Murphy’s law may just kick in….These are not in any particular order keep in mind:

1. I will not eat right..I will eat wrong and love every minute of it. You only go around once, so why not have a happy stomach instead of a lean fit angry one!

2. I will NOT lose any weight, in fact I will gain about 500 lbs…I am keeping the number high, so next year I will be pleasantly surprised if I only gain a 100…LOL!

3. I will not give up anything, except worrying about the things I am not giving up~

4. I will continue to crank call all of my friends, even though there is such a thing as caller id now:)

5. I will not fold one piece of laundry or better yet, I won’t even do laundry~Have no fear you will smell my family coming from a mile away!

6. I will continue to make all my friends laugh at ridiculous things and I will never let them forget when they have done something stupid…ummm that is the funny part!

7. I will continue to break out in song in the supermarket, even though the looks have really gotten out of hand. Besides people need to laugh and I need to sing~ I would have tried out for American Idol, but I am out of the age range…so Super Stop & Shop customers you get me and I am not quitting:)

8. I will not quit drinking or smoking on occasion..I love it!

9. I will try a lot of different new things this next year and I will stay completely unorganized while doing it. I will let about 1000 new people in and I am sure only about 3 will stay!

10. Last but not least…I will enjoy every second I have whether it be bills, taxes, household obligations, companies, start-ups, computer viruses, boys and more boys, arguments, laughter, friends, family, crisis, school, jobs, contacts, arguments, fights, small problems, big problems, daily routines, seasons, mornings, not enough sleep, sickness, wellness, vacations, ….you get the idea…I will enjoy every second because then again I am still here and that is most important…Happy New 2010 Year;)”

~PINK

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A day of “call” training~

So she needs a little confidence booster … some direction . . . training???? I’m not quite sure. She is a sharp woman and for goodness sake, she has worked with really high-level people and has done some seriously creative stuff. Why would she need help with this? She’s way over qualified to need help. Okay, I’ll sit with her and we’ll go through her activity, review for areas to improve upon, determine next steps and make some calls. Once you get the system down, it then becomes a formula you apply and Shazam – it starts to work. 

So I get to her house and I end up making her sales calls. I notice her hesitation and asked her if she wanted me to do one. We were like two teenagers making crank calls. Giggling and all wide-eyed when someone I asked for was actually there. I was pretending to be her and you should have seen her face. It was like getting your neighbor’s mother on the phone and they say, “yes” after you ask if their refrigerator is running.

No appointments, but that’s okay. We start to talk about her experiences in the entertainment business and all of the crazy people she met. Well, they weren’t crazy, just characters out of a movie. We start to tell each other things that you wouldn’t normally tell someone you’ve only known for two weeks, but that tells you something. It didn’t feel like two weeks – more like two decades.

We proceed to spend an hour telling each other about different times we have basically lost control of our bodily functions. Now would this be normal discussion for two grown women who are supposed to be, uh … working? Would this talk be something that anyone would admit? Would anyone else even think this was funny? We thought it was hysterical. So friggin’ hysterical that we couldn’t breath. I was in a state of awe. This just couldn’t be real.

What was real was our mundane sales calls for something that suddenly seemed so small. We called it a day and I wasn’t sure we got much accomplished, but I sure laughed my a** off. ~Seltzer

She is coming here!

Oh God, I just got off the phone and she wants to come here and listen to me call my contacts, are you kidding. I don’t want to do this-but she is on her way. 

First thought, I can wear my Uggs, second thought I can dress comfortable. Why do we need to dress up? Yeah, yeah-I get impressions, but after all if you talk stupid and you are wearing nice clothes..you are still stupid, right?  I better get ready.

In she comes, talking on her Bluetooth and making deals. This is starting to bug me, I have no one to talk to and I am not making deals. LOL!

We sit in my office, I have several things in here and it’s kind of messy. She asks for my contact list. Here it is, she looks and then says, “OK great start calling and I will listen!” Oh no, this is so embarrassing-call to say what-“would you like to purchase some advertising, I came into the store the other day, don’t you remember I am the one who stood there motionless and wanted to die?” LOL~ I tell her, I am not sure what to say, so can she call and pretend she is me, so I can listen to her to get the idea? She agrees.

As I sit and listen to her make the calls, I am astonished by how good she actually is! This is crazy, she was meant for this. She is so nice and polite and just keeps right on talking. She hands the phone to me. I make one call stumble and hang up. This job is not for me; I would be better suited for a grocery clerk (well maybe not that either)!

I have to think on my feet, I quickly change the subject and we start talking about weird things that have happened to us in the past. We are actually laughing together. I look over at her and think…would I be friends with her had it not been for this? Conversation completely changed and I am fine with it, plus my sides are busting open from laughing:) OK… I may like her, but this JOB has got to go!

~PINK

Published in: on December 21, 2009 at 4:24 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Oh God, He Wants to Have a Sales Meeting?

So he sends me an e-mail the other day and tells me he wants to have a sales meeting. Are you serious? We just hired our first hire; she’s only had a few days out on the street – what the heck is there to meet about? The poor thing is going to be so freaked out and nervous. She’s just getting the hang of it and if he starts to drill her on what she thinks she’s going to sell; she’s just going to look at him like I do. It’s a look that says, “You are such an idiot.”

So I’m off – late of course. This is very bad. I need to make a good impression as her boss, but I have a tendency to cram everything in at the last minute. I’m dashing up and I give him the “I’ll be a little late” call. He seems okay and I’m not so sure what I’m worried about because he is never on time.

I arrive and he looks irritated. She looks okay – not frightened. I’m so glad! She’s not dressed up, which I guess is okay, but I wonder what he thinks. There are so many instincts that he’s right on with and then others that he’s kind of a doink about. And I’m not sure if his expression is irritation or if he has to fart (he does that in meetings sometimes).

I think we are going to have an organized meeting – you know like with an agenda. Instead he has a ton of our competitor magazines, brochures and direct mail pieces that he proceeds to go through and rip apart. He is giving her leads. I cannot believe he had us drive all the way up here (an hour away) to go through leads.

He is flinging pieces of paper at her fast and furious. I can’t believe he is doing this. She has a list that she created and we added to. This was her starter list. It’s so important for her to get through that and not feel overwhelmed. The key is to keep them focused – especially in the first three months when your head is swimming with information overload. UGH. What can I do? I join in because if I don’t he’ll give her stuff that has already been started. Now I am managing two people. One that needs it and one that doesn’t, and the one that does is flinging papers at a young woman sitting at his dining room table.

~Seltzer

Sales, schmales!!!!

I get an email regarding a sales meeting at his house for 9:00am..what are you kidding, that is so early and he lives about 30 minutes from me~?

Go with it, it’s my job. So I get the boys on the bus , throw on some jeans, pink converse, ponytail…and head out. On the drive I am thinking to myself, what is this meeting going to be about…”prospects”..I have none..LOL, “How to get more prospects”…I don’t want one…”What to do when I get a sale”..who knows..this is worse then going to the dentist. 

I finally find the house, way out in the woods. Nice looking house, he comes out and is standing on the front steps…OMG he is wearing a Charlie Brown sweater with tan pants..I throw up in my mouth (not really but you get the drift!)

I go in and he shows me around a little and then asks if i want some coffee. I said sure, he then replies…”Can you make it, because I don’t know how to work our coffee maker?”……NOOOOOOOO…I have no idea how to use this machine, fine no coffee it is!

We talk for awhile, he is pacing a lot and we are waiting for her to come..where is she? Finally she walks in all happy and bubbly and annoying!

We sit down and I am expecting to talk about stuff and get a feel for what’s going on, instead they start ripping ad’s out of flyers, newspapers, magazines, and chucking them at me…WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

One after another, after another..I am now getting papercuts and if this is a meeting, I want no part of it. I am writing and talking notes and trying to keep up with them…this is crazy, ad’s flying around and the funny part..I am the only one getting all the ad’s……Finally the misery comes to an end.

I walk out with all my leaflets of paper and ad’s and head to the car. Put my stuff in, they are standing there..”Now get out there and sell” he says…BYE!

I drive away and head to McDonalds for a breather…phew….

~Pink

Holiday Wishes from France

You know that you’ve had too much to drink at the office party when you start faking french. We just hope that one of these women is not the boss. We’re not sure if it started to break down when they wrapped themselves in garland or when they put those hats on. Thank God there was no mistletoe in the building.

Even funnier, a woman at the party thought the fake french talker was really french. Will the real parisian please stand up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgKEVrQP5kU

Pounding the pavement alone….

OK…well I have convinced her I can go out on my own. How hard could it be, go in drop of some paperwork, introduce myself, get acquainted with the store-cake!

Get dressed and get all my forms organized. Check in the mirror-I look great and I head out the door. First stop, someone I know.

Well, he is not there. Leave a bunch of stuff, get their business card, give them mine and tell them I will be in touch. Head to my car-write down the info & smoke. Not so bad, only 300 more to go.

Next stop, walk in ask to speak with the person in charge of marketing and advertising and then gentlemen if we can call him that) just says NO. I am sorry what do you mean by NO; he states it again-NO. I am about to start punching this guy, holding it all in I reply. “No, he is not here or No I cannot speak to him?”

The guy just starts yelling for me to leave-obviously someone has had a bad day and if I wasn’t holding my business cards. I think I would have pounded him. Literally. I leave and think-the economy shomony people have gotten rude in this day and age and where the hell did customer service go?

In my car, I pull away and drive in circles through town wondering what to do and where to go? I finally pull in to a kid’s place, which I think should be a lot smoother then where I just left, good lord!

I walk up with all my forms and paperwork and ask the same question “I was just wondering if I could talk with the person who is in charge and leave off some information?”  Her response “there not here”, my response “well who are they and do they have a name?” No, she says and takes the stuff-“I will give it to them”

I leave immediately and head home-this job sucks and I am not a loser although I play one when doing sales. LOL Nightmare of a day-

Pink~

Her First Day Alone~

Oh, it was her first day alone! It’s like gently nudging the little one out of the nest to fly on their own.  I was confident that with her training, genuine easy-going nature and contacts in town, she would have a GREAT day. It’s not like I expected the poor soul to sell anything, but she just might hit it out of the park. God, if she did, I would look really, really bad. Oh well, then I would know if I just sucked with this type of media or if it really was the economy, the rates, the product (and it goes on and on and on and on.)

Plus, I had a lot to do so I was glad to have the free time.

I decided to check in and was excited to hear that she had a great day. She picked up the phone and I remember something like screaming.

Her: “Oh my God! It was awful, just awful! All I could think was I am going to quit!”

Me: (inside, “ok. I better fix this.”) outside: “What do you mean? What happened!”?

People were actually rude to her and some would not even give her the name of who was in charge of the advertising. My first thought was, “Ugh, that a**hole told her to ask that stupid cheesy question that NO ONE answers today!” Regardless, only she could have had such a horrendous day. I mean very, very few women get “thrown out.” And she’s so NICE. This makes absolutely no sense. I can’t BELIEVE it.

She did however turn the frustration and screaming into what one might call an assertive sales tactic. She contacted a friend who was on the board of one of the places where the woman was rude to her. (I later found out the woman also whipped something across the room to express her frustration with a customer call. Clearly, “my girl” was not the problem here!) She DEMANDED a meeting with the people in charge to get her an ad. Damn.  She’s going to sell an ad if she kills someone to do it.

Oh, I hope her next day is better.

Seltzer~

Published in: on December 14, 2009 at 9:11 am  Leave a Comment  
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2nd Day of Training~

It was time for another day of training and I was starting to realize just how horrible this job must be to someone on the outside. Well, maybe she won’t notice!  

As I was telling her some of my best stuff, she kept saying, “yup.” Hell, who were we kidding – was it time for lunch? That was where we really shined anyway. I promised her my tongue wouldn’t blow up.

I think this lunch was the first one that started the transformation of our relationship from boss/employee to “girls just wanna have fun.” I don’t remember what story it was that began the side-splitting laughter, but this was where it all began. And it was at the Olive Garden, which was even funnier because we both love it and it seems so … unsophisticated.

 ~Seltzer

A not so Italian Day

It was raining out and she had called in the morning, I told her I was going to go out to a few more places. Later she calls and she is in West Hartford, I immediately think she is stalking me to make sure I am going into establishments…Oh god. I ask if she wants to meet for lunch-something about lunch, we are always good at this. LOL

 She say’s fine and we decide on Olive Garden, Oh my god-Olive Garden YUCK. This is a disgrace for all Italians out there and she is Italian, as well. Oh well, at least it will take up time and I won’t have to go into any more places for the day.

She comes in and has on an ORANGE long sweater, yes you heard me right. I could never in a million years wear this sweater; I would be mistaken for some sort of Pumpkin on the loose. She actually can pull it off, even the waitress comments on it. WOW– I am shocked, the police would probably use a stungun on me. LOL

 As we sit and talk our conversation turns to family and life, not really business. I learn her sister has passed away and now she is telling some story about a guy who is going to lose his dog to cancer. She strikes me as abrupt and “It is what is” very matter of fact-I am still unsure as to what type of person she is and if we could ever be friends outside of this horrible job?

 She is so bubbly and nice and talking and laughing, I just want to say-My god, this job sucks and come to grips with yourself. It’s hell!! I say nothing and we do laugh a little more, lunch ends-she is off to appointments-I however; am going straight home….ummm it’s raining for god’s sake!!!

~Pink