The U Turn!

She was finally feeling better and the boss has been asking what’s going on with her. “Well, for Christ’s sake,” I’m thinking. “She along with the rest of the world is sick, you cheap son of a bi**h.” I offer to take her out for more training. But I made up my mind on the way over to fess up. And fessing up means possibly being the worst employee in the world. I’m supposed to be training her and I’m going to tell her that this isn’t working – for either of us.

See, she is creative and her strength is in her personality and her network. I have fun when I’m with her and we laugh a lot. And even if we are not laughing a lot I “get” the opportunities that she seizes for herself. She just doesn’t look for a job so she can go punch in and out somewhere. She is a great resource for people and knows it. I completely identify with her. In fact, we have talked many times about how we are sick of giving away free advice and ideas and that we have both decided that it was high time to get paid for our helpful ways. So, I need to tell her that the “anger” that she might have thought I was feeling was really distance. Distance from the company that we both have been working for and the unrealistic expectations of its leader. Some days the only thing I can bring myself to call him is “that bastard” and it’s only to myself because you’re supposed to support your boss – right? We were on the same river, her and I… and neither of us had a paddle.

I tell her that I think we should work together. I’m not exactly sure how or on what, but I’ve been wanting to focus on the creative side of the business for years now. Between the two of us, we could do some really fun things. And “fun” is the operative word. We both know life is rich and we are too “unique” to work for someone else for the rest of our lives, and my experience with this jerk is starting to seal my fate. We are passionate about helping people create a business from dream or idea, not trying to ram someone’s shitty product down your throat.

The cat’s out of the bag and we decide to talk about it over lunch (big surprise). But we have a big problem: what are we going to do about her? She doesn’t want to quit because she needs the money, but HATES the job. I start taking notes and thinking up how we can fix this. “Ok, let’s get our thoughts down on paper. Let’s have a plan.” I actually still have the notes: Project Basis, Not her MOJO, Loves the product, and then a long list of what’s wrong and the areas where she can be of value. “I know!” I say, “I’ll tell him you were crying about it!” (Great plan, genius) She looks at me like I’m crazy.

 We finally decide that she has to stay because she feels she has no choice. I’m not really sure why she feels she has no choice, but that’s it. Heck, she could work at CVS and make just as much money per week with no stress! So we leave to go back to her house.

Then we U-Turn. Literally. In the road, we U-turn. It happens in slow motion and I look down at my arm as I feel the car turning. She forgot her pad with all her notes at the restaurant. She’s turning the car, but we are on the outside lane. That means that there is a line of traffic next to us. Do I scream? No. I start laughing. Laughing because we weren’t hurt, laughing because she was so oblivious that there was a world around us, laughing because we need that damn pad, and laughing because we are back at square one. ~Seltzer

U Turns can be against the law 🙂

She comes over again, this time we sit in the kitchen and have coffee. I finally am getting out of my mouth-I just cannot fathom doing this job. She confesses to knowing that I am dying inside-we laugh and a weight has been lifted. Now that we get that out-of-the-way, what do we do about it?

Time for lunch-head to Bertucci’s-bring a pad and a purse. While there we sit and start laughing, this is totally wrong on every level. She thinks WE should work together (oh my god-my moons or something must be aligned this is crazy) we laugh a lot and she begins to tell me all her opinions on what has happened so far. Could this be for real?

I love the idea, we connect and our strengths and weakness’ coincide to make a perfect team. But, what to do about our current situation is the question? We came up with many plans, almost to easy. One plan, she decides she will tell him I was crying about it. I tell her that is not likely so don’t use that one. Then we decide the best way out of this is to see if she can convince him to have me stay on doing other stuff instead of door-to-door sales. Good plan, we will go with it. If it works then I can start building our company while she is out selling.

Maybe not-maybe we just leave it like this until then end of the year. We go back and forth about plans for awhile-making sure we have thought about every angle. However, one thing’s for sure-she will not tell him I am crying. LOL!

We leave the restaurant; this is so bad-can it be we are about to embark on a journey together? What if he finds out, what if he kills us-well that is not going to happen he has a limp.

We drive away and I realize I left my pad on the table. OMG, what if someone sees my notes and they know him and then they tell him. I immediately U_TURN on a 4 lane road-literally almost killing us. I pull over; we are laughing but only because it was an immediate reaction to almost dying. We drive back to get the pad.

PHEW-on to our new mission! ~PINK

A day of “call” training~

So she needs a little confidence booster … some direction . . . training???? I’m not quite sure. She is a sharp woman and for goodness sake, she has worked with really high-level people and has done some seriously creative stuff. Why would she need help with this? She’s way over qualified to need help. Okay, I’ll sit with her and we’ll go through her activity, review for areas to improve upon, determine next steps and make some calls. Once you get the system down, it then becomes a formula you apply and Shazam – it starts to work. 

So I get to her house and I end up making her sales calls. I notice her hesitation and asked her if she wanted me to do one. We were like two teenagers making crank calls. Giggling and all wide-eyed when someone I asked for was actually there. I was pretending to be her and you should have seen her face. It was like getting your neighbor’s mother on the phone and they say, “yes” after you ask if their refrigerator is running.

No appointments, but that’s okay. We start to talk about her experiences in the entertainment business and all of the crazy people she met. Well, they weren’t crazy, just characters out of a movie. We start to tell each other things that you wouldn’t normally tell someone you’ve only known for two weeks, but that tells you something. It didn’t feel like two weeks – more like two decades.

We proceed to spend an hour telling each other about different times we have basically lost control of our bodily functions. Now would this be normal discussion for two grown women who are supposed to be, uh … working? Would this talk be something that anyone would admit? Would anyone else even think this was funny? We thought it was hysterical. So friggin’ hysterical that we couldn’t breath. I was in a state of awe. This just couldn’t be real.

What was real was our mundane sales calls for something that suddenly seemed so small. We called it a day and I wasn’t sure we got much accomplished, but I sure laughed my a** off. ~Seltzer

She is coming here!

Oh God, I just got off the phone and she wants to come here and listen to me call my contacts, are you kidding. I don’t want to do this-but she is on her way. 

First thought, I can wear my Uggs, second thought I can dress comfortable. Why do we need to dress up? Yeah, yeah-I get impressions, but after all if you talk stupid and you are wearing nice are still stupid, right?  I better get ready.

In she comes, talking on her Bluetooth and making deals. This is starting to bug me, I have no one to talk to and I am not making deals. LOL!

We sit in my office, I have several things in here and it’s kind of messy. She asks for my contact list. Here it is, she looks and then says, “OK great start calling and I will listen!” Oh no, this is so embarrassing-call to say what-“would you like to purchase some advertising, I came into the store the other day, don’t you remember I am the one who stood there motionless and wanted to die?” LOL~ I tell her, I am not sure what to say, so can she call and pretend she is me, so I can listen to her to get the idea? She agrees.

As I sit and listen to her make the calls, I am astonished by how good she actually is! This is crazy, she was meant for this. She is so nice and polite and just keeps right on talking. She hands the phone to me. I make one call stumble and hang up. This job is not for me; I would be better suited for a grocery clerk (well maybe not that either)!

I have to think on my feet, I quickly change the subject and we start talking about weird things that have happened to us in the past. We are actually laughing together. I look over at her and think…would I be friends with her had it not been for this? Conversation completely changed and I am fine with it, plus my sides are busting open from laughing:) OK… I may like her, but this JOB has got to go!


Published in: on December 21, 2009 at 4:24 pm  Leave a Comment  
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The offer~

All I can say, it was easy – wayyyyyy too easy.  I should have known that this was not going to be a usual – anything. We had interviewed people and offered jobs to a handful. Everyone was freaked out about making money. And I get it. “We’re not here to make friends. We’re here to make money.” (I have to be a little pissed at someone to say this, but the truth hurts.) So, when I offered her the small weekly salary and higher commission, she said, “Okay, I’ll take it.” There was not even a hesitation. I know she came from money. Maybe she doesn’t need the money– God, she’s perfect!

We set up our training time and I prepared to overwhelm her with information. Ahhh, you gotta love the sales training process!


Flat screen

She called, offered me the job, I accepted and would start on Monday! The problem was I didn’t even really understand the position; I wanted a job for extra cash, besides Christmas was coming.

I called everyone I know and made the position sound much grander then it actually was, but for now I would have some extra cash and I had solved one of my problemos!


How To Blow Your Chances of Getting An Interview

How To Blow Your Chances of Getting An Interview

In today’s economy, it’s possible that you are blasting out resumes as fast as you can saying “I need a job.” I had the great fortune of contacting someone who sent me a resume’ for a sales position and it was clear that he neither remembered what job he had applied for and quite frankly, didn’t seem to care. The conversation fell into the category of “unbelievable” and it took every ounce of will power to stay on the phone. After all, I had a long day and I didn’t have time for this garbage.
I figure we can all learn from these blunders.  Below are some examples of what NOT to do when a prospective employer calls you.
Don’t act annoyed when you don’t know who the person is on the other line. Chances are when someone gives you their name and the company they’re are from — you’ve sent in a resume. Duh…
Don’t come off as if you have absolutely no idea what company is calling. Even if you have applied for 1,000 jobs, find a way to remember where you’ve sent your resume. Duh …

Don’t say, “Yeah” when you finally hear or understand the company name. Shouldn’t you maybe thank the person for calling or go into some questions about the job? Perhaps try to get an interview? Duh …

Don’t abruptly and arrogantly ask, “So, tell me what this job is all about.” Did you read the job description? If you have any related experience (which you obviously would if you are getting a call) you should at least be able to ask a more intelligent question. Duh …

Don’t say, “So tell me what ABC company is again.” Are you kidding me? You applied to a job and you don’t know what the company does?  Duh …

Don’t ask, “So if I looked on the website, what would I see? Wow. I’m speechless Duh …

Don’t tell the caller that their position is “a dime a dozen” and “I can sell anything.” Well Bucko, you sure as heck haven’t sold yourself.

Seriously, when you are looking for a job, do the research even before you apply. Make notes about key things that relate to your background, experience and interests. Read the annual report, about us and staff bios. You never know if you know someone through six degrees of separation or could tie a fact in about the annual report during that initial conversation. That may be all you need to land an interview.

Somewhere, keep a list handy of all the postions you have applied to and a copy of the cover letter. Lastly, only answer the phone if you are in the mood and in an appropriate place to talk. If not, it’s okay to let it go to voice mail. Having a conversation when you are not ready and you only have one chance to make a good impression could rob you of that one chance to get an interview.  Plus, it’s a small world. I will surely remember this gentleman’s name as one person to never consider hiring.


Considering the above advice, all seems good to me. 

However, just a side note- Does anyone really want to work, really? Or is it possible we all have to work in order to pay for things like bills, taxes, daycare, food, clothing, household items, and many more things.

I personally think if we all had enough money to support our lifestyles and did not have to do anything for it, things would be different. But because that is the way we live here on earth and we are all not financially set for life..we must get a job and we must pay our bills. So no matter how much it kills you when searching for a job-keep in mind the above points that Seltzer made!

Please note if by chance you do hit the almighty Powerball, then immediately call me:)



Published in: on December 3, 2009 at 1:25 pm  Leave a Comment  
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