The 180!

Well by now we just want to hang out together and get our own thing going. So I have this PR thing that I should be at and I invite her along. Plus, we need to start sniffing around for business.

I get a call halfway through that an afternoon sales call I had was cancelled. YES! It wasn’t going to be a sale for this edition anyway, so that means it’s lunchtime. We’re really good at lunch.

We practically run out of the venue to a diner. I’m so happy that we just get to sit and talk about OUR stuff. We get our meals and share fries, which I know neither of us really wants to do, but the waitress won’t bring me an order of my own (uh, are ya trying to tell me something Flo?)

 The reality is that she needs to figure out what she is going to do. She really hates this job and I can’t blame her. We’re back to square one. You either quit or try to like it until we can get you doing something else at the company or until we just cut loose.

It starts. The laughing begins because here we are again. How many people try this hard to stay in a nightmare job that they really don’t need (that would be her.) After all I found out, she just wanted a big screen TV!

We determine that I will talk to El Grosso next week so we can get her through the weekend if she just puts together the week-end “list” that details “rate pitched” and “% to close.” Are you f’in kidding me? % to close? It even sounds cheesy. We laugh hysterically as she starts saying, “Zero, zero, zero, ah, that would be zero.” It’s not funny and we really don’t mean to laugh, but it’s true! It’s going to be zero for most people because it’s been a BI*** to sell!!! And then she starts saying that we are Pinocchio again. I know I have a big nose, but hey, we ain’t no Pinocchio.

I try to tell her that I feel badly because there is no way I can set her up for success in this business. She somehow finds that funny so here we go again. Heads start turning, we can’t breath and all is good.

She’s going to write that damn list. After all, I’m doing everything in my power and am slowly becoming powerless to keep her on. She agrees, we talk a little more in her car and off we go.

Later that night, he calls and wants to have a heart-to-heart with her. ~Seltzer

Support our Troops~ 

I was invited to go to the “Stuff a Trailer” event, which is in honor of a marine who lost his life. His parents started this after he had called and requested the mom send 40 bed sheets for all his bunk mates instead of just one for him. An amazing family, who lost their son and are now giving back to the troops. In times like these, you quickly remember how thankful you are for your family and our troops supporting the country.

I have never been a “biker” girl, but I try to act like one if need be. This day was filled with generous people who were stopping by to stuff the trailer with items. As I wondered around, I thought to myself…I would have never been here had I not met Seltzer and right now I am thankful.

The day was a big success and she apparently was then taking me to a sales meeting. OH BORE…However, she just found out the woman had to cancel-so off to lunch. I followed her in my car down these long windy roads with only farms in view, wondering, “Where the hell are we going to eat?” Have you noticed a pattern, it’s all about the food:)

Finally she pulled into a diner, we ordered and our conversation went quickly to how the heck do I get out of this mess. I am really feeling pulled, I certainly don’t want to take money from someone when I am doing nothing for them, but it is Christmas-I have morals and ethics, but let’s be serious in this economy are you kidding. If only I could have sold one ad, that would have been perfect. Seltzer gives me my options again and again, but I don’t like them and I am starting to feel weird about the whole situation. I feel alone, yes-I am glad I met her, but now it seems like a mess.

 I have to hand in my sales sheet and all it will say is zero, zero, zero. OHHH GODD!! I am turning into Pinocchio and there is no stopping me. What am I supposed to do? I keep looking to her to give me the answer, knowing full well I have the answer. LET THIS JOB GO!

 We finish and head out; I guess tomorrow I will send my sheet with all the ZERO’S! Nothing accomplished but a full stomach…~PINK

A day of “call” training~

So she needs a little confidence booster … some direction . . . training???? I’m not quite sure. She is a sharp woman and for goodness sake, she has worked with really high-level people and has done some seriously creative stuff. Why would she need help with this? She’s way over qualified to need help. Okay, I’ll sit with her and we’ll go through her activity, review for areas to improve upon, determine next steps and make some calls. Once you get the system down, it then becomes a formula you apply and Shazam – it starts to work. 

So I get to her house and I end up making her sales calls. I notice her hesitation and asked her if she wanted me to do one. We were like two teenagers making crank calls. Giggling and all wide-eyed when someone I asked for was actually there. I was pretending to be her and you should have seen her face. It was like getting your neighbor’s mother on the phone and they say, “yes” after you ask if their refrigerator is running.

No appointments, but that’s okay. We start to talk about her experiences in the entertainment business and all of the crazy people she met. Well, they weren’t crazy, just characters out of a movie. We start to tell each other things that you wouldn’t normally tell someone you’ve only known for two weeks, but that tells you something. It didn’t feel like two weeks – more like two decades.

We proceed to spend an hour telling each other about different times we have basically lost control of our bodily functions. Now would this be normal discussion for two grown women who are supposed to be, uh … working? Would this talk be something that anyone would admit? Would anyone else even think this was funny? We thought it was hysterical. So friggin’ hysterical that we couldn’t breath. I was in a state of awe. This just couldn’t be real.

What was real was our mundane sales calls for something that suddenly seemed so small. We called it a day and I wasn’t sure we got much accomplished, but I sure laughed my a** off. ~Seltzer

She is coming here!

Oh God, I just got off the phone and she wants to come here and listen to me call my contacts, are you kidding. I don’t want to do this-but she is on her way. 

First thought, I can wear my Uggs, second thought I can dress comfortable. Why do we need to dress up? Yeah, yeah-I get impressions, but after all if you talk stupid and you are wearing nice clothes..you are still stupid, right?  I better get ready.

In she comes, talking on her Bluetooth and making deals. This is starting to bug me, I have no one to talk to and I am not making deals. LOL!

We sit in my office, I have several things in here and it’s kind of messy. She asks for my contact list. Here it is, she looks and then says, “OK great start calling and I will listen!” Oh no, this is so embarrassing-call to say what-“would you like to purchase some advertising, I came into the store the other day, don’t you remember I am the one who stood there motionless and wanted to die?” LOL~ I tell her, I am not sure what to say, so can she call and pretend she is me, so I can listen to her to get the idea? She agrees.

As I sit and listen to her make the calls, I am astonished by how good she actually is! This is crazy, she was meant for this. She is so nice and polite and just keeps right on talking. She hands the phone to me. I make one call stumble and hang up. This job is not for me; I would be better suited for a grocery clerk (well maybe not that either)!

I have to think on my feet, I quickly change the subject and we start talking about weird things that have happened to us in the past. We are actually laughing together. I look over at her and think…would I be friends with her had it not been for this? Conversation completely changed and I am fine with it, plus my sides are busting open from laughing:) OK… I may like her, but this JOB has got to go!

~PINK

Published in: on December 21, 2009 at 4:24 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Pounding the pavement alone….

OK…well I have convinced her I can go out on my own. How hard could it be, go in drop of some paperwork, introduce myself, get acquainted with the store-cake!

Get dressed and get all my forms organized. Check in the mirror-I look great and I head out the door. First stop, someone I know.

Well, he is not there. Leave a bunch of stuff, get their business card, give them mine and tell them I will be in touch. Head to my car-write down the info & smoke. Not so bad, only 300 more to go.

Next stop, walk in ask to speak with the person in charge of marketing and advertising and then gentlemen if we can call him that) just says NO. I am sorry what do you mean by NO; he states it again-NO. I am about to start punching this guy, holding it all in I reply. “No, he is not here or No I cannot speak to him?”

The guy just starts yelling for me to leave-obviously someone has had a bad day and if I wasn’t holding my business cards. I think I would have pounded him. Literally. I leave and think-the economy shomony people have gotten rude in this day and age and where the hell did customer service go?

In my car, I pull away and drive in circles through town wondering what to do and where to go? I finally pull in to a kid’s place, which I think should be a lot smoother then where I just left, good lord!

I walk up with all my forms and paperwork and ask the same question “I was just wondering if I could talk with the person who is in charge and leave off some information?”  Her response “there not here”, my response “well who are they and do they have a name?” No, she says and takes the stuff-“I will give it to them”

I leave immediately and head home-this job sucks and I am not a loser although I play one when doing sales. LOL Nightmare of a day-

Pink~

Her First Day Alone~

Oh, it was her first day alone! It’s like gently nudging the little one out of the nest to fly on their own.  I was confident that with her training, genuine easy-going nature and contacts in town, she would have a GREAT day. It’s not like I expected the poor soul to sell anything, but she just might hit it out of the park. God, if she did, I would look really, really bad. Oh well, then I would know if I just sucked with this type of media or if it really was the economy, the rates, the product (and it goes on and on and on and on.)

Plus, I had a lot to do so I was glad to have the free time.

I decided to check in and was excited to hear that she had a great day. She picked up the phone and I remember something like screaming.

Her: “Oh my God! It was awful, just awful! All I could think was I am going to quit!”

Me: (inside, “ok. I better fix this.”) outside: “What do you mean? What happened!”?

People were actually rude to her and some would not even give her the name of who was in charge of the advertising. My first thought was, “Ugh, that a**hole told her to ask that stupid cheesy question that NO ONE answers today!” Regardless, only she could have had such a horrendous day. I mean very, very few women get “thrown out.” And she’s so NICE. This makes absolutely no sense. I can’t BELIEVE it.

She did however turn the frustration and screaming into what one might call an assertive sales tactic. She contacted a friend who was on the board of one of the places where the woman was rude to her. (I later found out the woman also whipped something across the room to express her frustration with a customer call. Clearly, “my girl” was not the problem here!) She DEMANDED a meeting with the people in charge to get her an ad. Damn.  She’s going to sell an ad if she kills someone to do it.

Oh, I hope her next day is better.

Seltzer~

Published in: on December 14, 2009 at 9:11 am  Leave a Comment  
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The Tongue Incident~

This was just bizarre and this is where it all began. At that time, I’m not sure I knew “it,” but this was “it.” I took her out on a full day of prospecting. It went really well. No one was rude and we had a chance to actually sit and talk to a few quasi-decision makers, and someone even said they were interested. Yes! So, it was a success and I’m sure she picked up a lot of insight. Once she got the hang of the whole “on the road” thing in outside sales, she would be fine.

(I think I remember that she told her husband she was so uncomfortable from the first time we went out. It got hot and we didn’t take our blazers off. Her, I’m not sure why. Me, I didn’t shave that week and I had no sleeves on my shirt! She told me her husband called to ask about her day and she yelled at him, “I can’t talk to you right now. I’m uncomfortable!” I think the audio of her saying that playing over in my head was the first time I got a deep chuckle from this hysterical person I think of a soul sister. (Gitchy gitchy ya ya.)

She asked if I wanted lunch. Of course! I was starving! The restaurant she picked was in the same location as a restaurant that I had gotten food poisoning at. I chuckled secretly to myself and confidently agreed to go there because, hey, it’s a different place now. I once again wolfed my food down and we proceeded to drive away so she could get her kids. If it was only that simple.  . .

My tongue felt like it was blowing up. Not like the whole thing and not like it was going to explode, but I could feel a small, hard ball at the end of it. “That’s weird,” I’m thinking. “I don’t remember that ball there before.” I’m having a private conversation in my head and pressing my tongue between my teeth to determine if this is a ball, if it is growing, if it hurts. What the heck?! I decide to get realistic AND I remembered my horoscope – yes – my horoscope. My horoscope for that day indicated that all my “i”s would be dotted and “t”s crossed, but nothing would prepare me for the interruption I would have and it would be (verbatim) “a doozy and I better think quick about how to deal with it.” Oye, now I become George Castanza from Seinfeld and proceed to overreact.

See, I had two allergic reactions in my life that made my lips and face swell. The last time I had this happen the doctor said, “Well, it’s something you ate and when it happens again, it will get progressively worse. We can stick you with a bunch of needles to determine the allergy or you can carry Benadryl with you.” I also promptly remembered my mother having a reaction to seafood and getting rushed to the hospital where they told her she almost died from asphyxiation as her tongue had swelled. So I begin to scramble for Benadryl in my bag and calmly ask her if there is a clinic in the area. Unbeknownst to me, she doesn’t do well in extreme situations. Actually, she doesn’t do well even in mild situations. Now that I know her, and she has mentioned this several times, it is a miracle of God the she gave childbirth.

She starts to scream at me “A clinic. NO. Why do you need a clinic? Well, there’s UCONN. Do you want to go there??!!!???!!”

Me: “No, if we have to drive to UCONN it might take too long. Where is there a walk-in clinic? My tongue is blowing up.”

She: “Your tongue is blowing up. Why? What’s wrong? Oh my GOD. You need a clinic. Why do you need a clinic?”

Me: “It’s okay. Don’t worry. I just need to go to a walk-in to make sure it’s okay.”

Well after all the drama, a walk-in was literally around the corner. Phew. I knew they would take me right away and I told her just to take my car to get her little monkey. She called him her “four –year old thing” and told me he acted like a mafooch and looked like Sammy the Bull Gravano. I could not WAIT to meet this kid. Off we both went as I profusely apologized. She didn’t know why I was apologizing, and I’m not so sure I did either, but I just hate it when people feel uncomfortable!

It turned out just fine and I took the Claritin that was in my bag (note to self: put lots of Benadryl in the bag!) The doctors were a little standoffish and didn’t even want to touch my tongue. I kept sticking out and saying, “Can you see it?” They would kind of back away. What was that all about? I wanted them to put a latex glove on and squeeze my tongue so they could feel it. How else could they diagnose it!

She makes it back with “Sammy” – oh my God – this kid does look like him and is the cutest Chubaka you’ve ever seen. Apparently my condition caused quite a ruckus at pick-up time at daycare. We laughed all the way home and I tried not to scare her kid. After all, I’m the lady whose tongue just “blew up” and he’s four. His visual is tissue and blood all over the place.

She FaceBook’d about it that night and got LOTS of response. I guess these things happen to her… Ahh, gotta love sales training.

~Seltzer

It has been said, that everywhere I go there are dilemmas and that statement is VERY true. This day would be like any other in my life, drama filled.  I am heading out with her to go on sales calls. Oh fun! Anyway, she picks me up at my house and off we go. She has a list of places and her car has papers everywhere of clients and people and articles and stuff, there is definitely a method to her madness.

Driving around we are hitting several places, in and out of the car, in and out–annoying! Then she is dialing her phone with a blue tooth and talking, this girl is all business and she is fast. I am more of the turtle and she is the hare. I still get there but in my own fashion.

Finally after circling a huge parking lot in New Britain for what seemed like hours and then walking another mile to get to the office we were looking for, I am exhausted. You see when you run your own company, like I did, you plot these things out….this would have been a day trip for me. LOL, but it was actually our last stop and so we decided to head back to town for lunch.

We eat and talk and I can tell we are comfortable with each other and there is something about her that is very intriguing. Almost like, we should have been friends for years. We finish lunch and head to the car. I have to go and pick up my son at 3:00 and it is like 2:45.

Driving she says, “Heather is there a walk-in clinic around here?”

Me: “WHAT…WHAT’S the matter?!@

She: “I think I may be having an allergic reaction to something I just ate~”

Me: Are you KIDDING, OMG this is horrible, do you want to go to UCONN, how can you tell?”

 She: My tongue is swelling.

 Me: Are you kidding me, are you going to die? What!!! OMG this is horrible, what do we do. OMG turn around and go to the clinic up the street-

There was a lot more screaming and yelling, but it is blurred at this point for me.

All I keep thinking is what if she dies and I am with her and OMG!

She does a U-turn in the street and we head back to the clinic, we walk in and there she goes up to the desk and tells them the problem, she then turns to me and tells me to take her car and go get my son.

I fly out of there and to his daycare. Run in and tell him “we have to go quick, the lady I work with, her tongue just blew up in the car.we have to go quick!” His response like any other 4 yr old, “What mama, her tongue blew up and there is blood and guts all over?” No, no I have no time to explain this, just get in the car with your bike and all your bags.

We head back to the clinic and wait. While waiting he is convinced when she comes out her tongue will be gone and she will just have a head. Wait, wait, wait, finally she comes out and it turns out everything will be ok. He keeps checking her face. LOL.

I had to Facebook that evening and no one who knows me was really surprised, after all it’s just a day in the life of ME!

Pink~