Saved by the Swine Flu

My son is sick and he has to stay home…not good! He should be in pre-school and God knows I need a break, but the poor little (not so little) thing is a mess and my husband is out-of-town on business. It is just me!

I e-mail everyone to let them know I will not be able to go out on any sales calls…PHEW!!! Actually, I am so happy-I mean what can they say. Nothing and I am his mom. However, if you knew him you might agree that it would be easier to go out on sales calls and get rejected than stay in the house with a cranky sick 4-year-old who insists on playing Star Wars Wii for hours on end.

I don’t hear from them at all, I start to get worried. This is it; I am going to be fired. Still nothing, so I send another e-mail asking if there is anything I can do for them from home? Still no response, OMG I am being fired or I’m really paranoid! I send her an e-mail and ask, “What’s going on? I feel really bad that I can’t work. Are you mad at me?” She replies, “No silly!  You and your son are sick, so I was just leaving you alone.” Oh, Oh, well I feel much better. She tells me that I can work on our Constant Contact database and sends me her contacts and also ask me to get some followers on our Twitter account.  So off I go into viral web space..ohhh ummm!!! Much better than heading out on the road.



Sickness has run through her household and her little Gambino has the swine. I know she feels bad because she is very conscientious and wants to work, but what the heck can you do? I remember feeling that pressure being a single mother “I don’t have time to be sick” or “Crap! My baby’s sick!” What a horrible way to have to live. Plus, it’s a nice break from the horror of selling this product!!! I call to check in on her and now she is sick and very, very upset. She feels like she is going to DIE – yes, DIE — and her husband is out-of-town. Oh no. Her husband is a huge help with the kids. This couldn’t have happened at a worse time. PLUS, her mom is in the hospital with high blood pressure. Is this for real??? I don’t know whether to laugh or feel bad. (I better not laugh. She’ll never talk to me again.) I am just going to leave her alone.

Then I get the e-mail “Are you mad at me?” Oh … I feel really badly. No. Of course I’m not mad at her. I actually don’t want her to have a nervous break down – it’s not worth it. What she’s probably sensing more is the uneasiness I feel in trying to help her do well when I don’t even have confidence in this god-forsaken product. Well, let me qualify that: I have confidence, but no one else seems to. I work my tail off, prepare, prospect, question, present, propose, close — and NOTHING! Now, I start to feel sick to my stomach and wonder what is really going on with me.


A day of “call” training~

So she needs a little confidence booster … some direction . . . training???? I’m not quite sure. She is a sharp woman and for goodness sake, she has worked with really high-level people and has done some seriously creative stuff. Why would she need help with this? She’s way over qualified to need help. Okay, I’ll sit with her and we’ll go through her activity, review for areas to improve upon, determine next steps and make some calls. Once you get the system down, it then becomes a formula you apply and Shazam – it starts to work. 

So I get to her house and I end up making her sales calls. I notice her hesitation and asked her if she wanted me to do one. We were like two teenagers making crank calls. Giggling and all wide-eyed when someone I asked for was actually there. I was pretending to be her and you should have seen her face. It was like getting your neighbor’s mother on the phone and they say, “yes” after you ask if their refrigerator is running.

No appointments, but that’s okay. We start to talk about her experiences in the entertainment business and all of the crazy people she met. Well, they weren’t crazy, just characters out of a movie. We start to tell each other things that you wouldn’t normally tell someone you’ve only known for two weeks, but that tells you something. It didn’t feel like two weeks – more like two decades.

We proceed to spend an hour telling each other about different times we have basically lost control of our bodily functions. Now would this be normal discussion for two grown women who are supposed to be, uh … working? Would this talk be something that anyone would admit? Would anyone else even think this was funny? We thought it was hysterical. So friggin’ hysterical that we couldn’t breath. I was in a state of awe. This just couldn’t be real.

What was real was our mundane sales calls for something that suddenly seemed so small. We called it a day and I wasn’t sure we got much accomplished, but I sure laughed my a** off. ~Seltzer

She is coming here!

Oh God, I just got off the phone and she wants to come here and listen to me call my contacts, are you kidding. I don’t want to do this-but she is on her way. 

First thought, I can wear my Uggs, second thought I can dress comfortable. Why do we need to dress up? Yeah, yeah-I get impressions, but after all if you talk stupid and you are wearing nice are still stupid, right?  I better get ready.

In she comes, talking on her Bluetooth and making deals. This is starting to bug me, I have no one to talk to and I am not making deals. LOL!

We sit in my office, I have several things in here and it’s kind of messy. She asks for my contact list. Here it is, she looks and then says, “OK great start calling and I will listen!” Oh no, this is so embarrassing-call to say what-“would you like to purchase some advertising, I came into the store the other day, don’t you remember I am the one who stood there motionless and wanted to die?” LOL~ I tell her, I am not sure what to say, so can she call and pretend she is me, so I can listen to her to get the idea? She agrees.

As I sit and listen to her make the calls, I am astonished by how good she actually is! This is crazy, she was meant for this. She is so nice and polite and just keeps right on talking. She hands the phone to me. I make one call stumble and hang up. This job is not for me; I would be better suited for a grocery clerk (well maybe not that either)!

I have to think on my feet, I quickly change the subject and we start talking about weird things that have happened to us in the past. We are actually laughing together. I look over at her and think…would I be friends with her had it not been for this? Conversation completely changed and I am fine with it, plus my sides are busting open from laughing:) OK… I may like her, but this JOB has got to go!


Published in: on December 21, 2009 at 4:24 pm  Leave a Comment  
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